Wedding Seating Chart Rules

Three Reasons Brides Should Consider Assigning Seats for Guests

Jan 27, 2009 Kristin Walinski

When planning a reception, brides should keep in mind three groups that benefit from a seating plan: the bridal party, elderly or disabled guests, and single guests.

Even the most considerate and organized brides often fail their wedding guests when it comes to seating in three ways:

  • Failing to provide adequate seating for the wedding party, including family members.
  • Failing to consider attendees with special needs.
  • Failing to consider single attendees.

The best remedy for these failures is prevention: plan ahead with a detailed seating strategy. Brides may think their guests will appreciate the freedom of being allowed to select their own seats and tablemates, but they won’t – they’re just too polite to say so.

Thou Shalt Provide for Thy Family.

  • Two recent brides each reserved one table of eight for their wedding parties, which numbered 16 and 18 guests, respectively. After everyone was seated, the parties were announced, entered the ballroom, and were forced to stand until the venue’s staff rolled out and set the tables while the other guests watched.
  • Another bride failed to reserve any tables for any of her guests. Since the wedding party arrived last to the reception after taking post-ceremony pictures, the party had to search for seating amongst the scattered single seats left at otherwise full tables.

Even if brides balk at a full seating chart, they should at least plan seating for the wedding party. Since these guests must often wait to sit until after group photographs or until they are announced at the reception, they are the most likely to experience seating angst.

Thou Shalt Provide for Guests’ Special Needs.

  • A recent reception offered unreserved dinner tables for some, but not all, guests. Since most guests like a home base from which to operate, the seats were quickly claimed for the duration of the night with purses and wraps. Less fortunate guests stood awkwardly at cocktail tables scattered around the dance floor or hovered over tables, hoping guests would abandon their seats. The bride’s grandparents searched fruitlessly for a chair. The only table where they could sit together was five feet from the DJ’s throbbing speakers. They stood until they were forced to make an early exit.

Though it may seem that guests rarely sit during a wedding reception, they usually need a “home base” to keep their wraps, purses, and other belongings while at the bar, in the buffet queue, or in the conga line. At a minimum, brides who cannot afford to rent seating space for all their guests should have designated seating for any senior attendees or guests with disabilities.

Thou Shalt Not Isolate Single Guests.

  • One bride recently sat her guests at unreserved nine-person tables. The odd number of seats at the table stranded her single guests and split couples. Three ladies fidgeted for twenty minutes figuring out where to sit: by the time they arrived at the reception, no tables remained where all three could sit together. They eventually separated and sat singly at tables where they knew no one.

Had these brides developed a formal seating plan, all of their guests would have been at ease.

Unless you are having a wedding with fewer than 20 guests or all of your guests know at least ten other guests, you should spend the time required to develop a seating plan. Though it can become challenging with an ever-shifting guest count, it minimizes stress for both the couple and their guests on the big day.

The copyright of the article Wedding Seating Chart Rules in Wedding Planning is owned by Kristin Walinski. Permission to republish Wedding Seating Chart Rules in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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Mar 19, 2009 8:09 PM
Guest :
Because of the rain and our daughter's venue there was no assigned seating. I was told it is the custom of the South that people like to mingle and they typically do not sit like the Northern custom. It did not feel right to me but that is what was done.

Please as brides communicate with your parents as I was walked down the aisle before the mother of the groom which to me was an insult and took away my honor as the mother of the bride. I know my daughter thought she was doing me a favor as my son was the officiant. If I had only known I would have had him come back to walk me down the aisle. I attribute this to a lack of knowledge and lack of communication on both of our parts. It is the little things that make the day special for the Mom...don't take these moments away. Remember to include the parents in the first meeting of the couple on the wedding day and in as much as you can so it is a true celebration.
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