Wedding registries, or bridal registries, have become so commonplace that these days that most guests expect them. When you think about it, this is a bit odd, as the concept of a registry flies in the face of gift etiquette. After all, this system makes it impossible to keep the price of a wedding gift a secret. It also involves the couple asking for a list of very specific items.
So are wedding registries inherently rude? Perhaps, but they're terribly practical for both the couple and the guests, so no one seems to mind. However, some registries do come across as much more rude than others. If you're going to create a registry, here are some etiquette tips to keep your requests for gifts as polite and gracious as possible.
Register for Gifts in a Variety of Price Ranges
One of the rudest things a couple can do is create the sense from their registry that there is an "appropriate" price for a wedding gift – especially if this price is quite large. Not all your guests will have the ability or inclination to give you an expensive gift. Make sure there's a range of prices represented on your registry, and make sure there are plenty of gifts in the lower ranges, in case the lower priced gifts run out.
It's a good idea to take a peek at your registry as your wedding approaches (or get someone else to do it, if you really want to be surprised), and if the lower priced gifts have mostly been purchased, go register for some more. Don't worry about registering for too many gifts. The important thing is to give guests the options to purchase something you asked for that's not costly.
Is it rude to register for expensive gifts? Not at all. Some of your guests will want to buy expensive gifts, and other guests will go in together to purchase big ticket items. Just make sure these gifts aren't the only choices.
Register for Gifts at More Than One Store
It's generally a good idea to register at more than one location. A pricey store and a less pricey store is a common choice. When choosing stores, think access: you want to make sure your guests will have the ability to shop at these stores. Thus, if you register at a local family kitchen shop, make sure you also register at a national chain for out-of-town guests. And yes, most stores are available online, but keep in mind that some of your guests (especially elderly ones) won't want to shop online, and that online purchases usually include a shipping charge that many guests would just as soon avoid.
Don't Publicize Your Registry
This may sound silly, since people can't buy you a gift from your registry if they don't know where it is. However, telling people where to shop comes across as very rude. Never mention where your registry is on your invitation. (It's a toss-up whether you should list your registries on a wedding website.) If people want to know where you're registered, they'll ask you or someone close to you.
Register for Appropriate Gifts
Wouldn't it be funny to register for a box of condoms? Or or a book about how do deal with crazy in-laws? Show some class.
Be Gracious About All Your Gifts
As you full out those fuzzy hot pink towels out of the box, you'll roll your eyes and wonder why Aunt Bertha didn't have the sense to use your wedding registry. But keep this to yourself and write her a grateful note anyway. Keep things in perspective and remember to be grateful for the people in your life and for their acts of kindness. (And keep the receipt!)
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