Shortly after announcing their engagement, family and friends of the couple will want to know about the bridal party. Couples who prepare for these questions in advance have the chance to consider a number of important questions. They need to address what they want bridal party members to do for the wedding.
Discussions need to be had about who to ask and why. Couples who plan for those challenging discussion that leave some people feeling left out have the best possible opportunity to present a united positive approach to these important decisions.
Roles of the Bridal Party
Traditionally brides and grooms have a maid, or matron of honor and a best man. Many couples add bridesmaids and grooms or ushers to the wedding party. Children can also enter the party as flower girls, junior bridesmaids, and ring bearers. The number of attendants is up to the couple and should be something couples consider carefully.
It can be fun and exciting to add friends and families to the wedding party. However, it is important to realize that there is a cost to each individual invited to join the wedding party. There is also a need to coordinate bridal parties. The more people who are involved, the more work that is required to make sure all parties are meeting obligations, arriving as scheduled, and participating when asked.
Couples need to consider the responsibilities and service requirements of the attendants. Maids of honor traditionally host or assist with hosting a shower for the bride. Bridesmaids and the maid of honor generally participate in helping the bride get ready on the day of the wedding. These tasks are traditional but each bride sets the schedule and expectations for the female side of the wedding party.
The same happens with the male side of the wedding party. The best man traditionally has hosted a bachelor party and supported the groom on the morning of the wedding. However, some parties do to friendships or distance, have more or fewer activities planned.
Temperament and Abilities of Friends and Family
Couples need to consider the temperament and abilities of family and friends when considering how to fill the bridal party roles. If one expects a maid of honor to assist with wedding plans, accept duties, and have good organizational skills one has to find a candidate with those skills. Choosing a friend or family member with no organizational skills, who is extremely unreliable, and has no interest in assisting with planning activities and functions would not likely be a great choice.
Despite how much the person may want the honor, they may not have the required skills. On the other hand if the only expectations for a bridesmaid are to show up for a dress fitting and to be on time the day of the wedding, the options for choosing a candidate may be much wider.
Another issue brides and grooms really want to consider is the attitude and temperament of the members of the bridal party. Wedding days are beautiful and stressful. Choosing calm, responsible, reliable friends and family to be around the bridal couple on the day can contribute to distressing instead of increasing problems. Evaluate friends and family to determine who can handle the challenges and be an asset during the day. Attendants should be there to help the couple, not require lots of time and attention.
Affordability Matters
Couples should consider the style and feelings of the people asked to participate in a wedding. Financial, religious, and other expectations should be considered. Many couples create a dream wedding without determining if the invited attendants can afford to be involved. One needs to balance the style of the wedding with those who can afford to participate. If the bride has a financial plan that her selected attendants cannot afford, she needs to consider altering the plan or the list of attendants. One should not expect friends and family to go deeply into debt just to support one’s special day.
While couples should feel free to plan the style of wedding that fits their personal wishes, they should be fair in asking attendants to participate. Some friends and family are perfectly comfortable crossing religious, cultural, and other styles to support a friend or family member. Others are happy to attend, but find working through the traditions of another faith or culture challenging.
This is a time for patience and understanding. Many of these concerns can be addressed by talking with the religious leader who can discuss concerns of those not of the faith being used in the wedding. Couples may need to be ambassadors that smooth issues that occur between families and friends to get people to work together.
Having close friends and family support one on the wedding day can provide couples with support, encouragement, and people to celebrate with on their special day. Memories are made that can last a lifetime. Choosing the best possible attendants can provide couples with stress reducers instead of increasing problems.
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