Marriage is a public declaration of a private emotion. It is two adults joining together to be seen by others not only as their own individual selves, but also as a couple, both by law and by those who know them.
With this in mind, many couples chose to have some symbol of unity in their wedding ceremony, to show that, while they are not giving up their individual personalities, they are now also part of a new entity.
Unity Candles
Perhaps the most popular symbolic ritual is that of the Unity Candles. In this ceremony, three candles are used. Two small candles or tapers are used to represent the two individuals getting married. These can be carried by bride and groom themselves, or are often lit by close members of their families. The two smaller candles are then used to light a bigger candle. All three remain lit throughout the rest of the wedding, to signify the couple in their married state and as individuals.
Drinking From One Cup
Many cultures have a tradition of the bride and groom drinking from the same cup. This is a symbol of trust (stemming from the days when important people needed official food tasters, for fear of poisoning), a gesture of togetherness and a sign of sharing. The contents of the cup can also be symbolic; water would represent purity, while fruit juice or wine would signify fertility. If there is no time restriction, or if the number of guests is relatively small, then all present could also drink from the same cup, showing unity among all present.
Combining Rituals
These are particularly effective when there are children involved, as it is a good way of giving them a role within the ceremony. In this practice, significant elements to the couple are combined during the wedding. Examples include:
- Gathering elements from the surroundings. This works particularly well for outdoor weddings. For example, all of the guests at a beach wedding could pick up a pebble, which is then collected in a large bowl, and kept as a souvenir by the couple. At garden weddings, flowers or leaves could be picked, which are then pressed and dried for the bride and groom.
- Wine ritual. Similar to the unity candle, the bride and groom (or representatives of their families) carry small pitchers of wine, which are then combined in a larger vessel. This is then used to pour wine for everybody present. Red wine is more traditional, but beware of splashes on the bride’s white dress!
Of course, couples don’t have to stick to traditional ideas when planning their wedding. They can use the idea of a unifying ritual to combine elements that are significant to them (such artists combining red and yellow paint to produce orange) and make their wedding personal and memorable.
