You've chosen the wedding date, which is all well and good, except you still need to figure out the location. This can be any number of places in the wide world of wedding planning, and whichever one you and your bride-to-be choose is determined by several factors: family, religion, the city you live in, the time of year, and your personal style.
The Family Factor
Your family is in one city, your bride's is in another, and the two of you live nowhere near either of them. If you do live near one or the other, this may be a non-issue (don't count on it). This will really become a non-issue if you and your bride grew up in the same city/town and never left.
For those who aren't so lucky, there are several things to take into account when figuring out the family factor.
- Whose family is larger? — If your family is represented heavily on the guest list, then consider having it near them to ensure fewer people have to travel. Apply the same rule to your bride's family. This doesn't matter as much with destination weddings, which are another topic entirely.
- Whose family is less spread out? — The family members on your guest list are spread across the entire length and breadth of the United States (and some in Canada). Your bride's family, on the other hand, all live within an hour's drive. It might make more sense then to have the wedding near your bride's family because they have a shorter drive and might answer the next question.
- Whose family is more likely to attend in large numbers? — Your family may be spread out more than the Jewish Diaspora after the Babylonians took Jerusalem. Because of this, they may not be able to afford the travel costs (depending on where you're planning to hold the wedding in relation to where they are). As a result, your extended family might not attend your nuptials, again lending the advantage to your bride. The same logic applies on the other side as well.
What's God Got to Do With It? (Or Buddha, Or Allah)
Different faiths have different requirements for a marriage to be recognized. If you and your bride share a faith, but don't want a religious ceremony, then you can ignore this consideration. There's always having a Justice of the Peace officiate at the ceremony, or you can have a friend of the family request a one-day license.
Having a Justice of the Peace officiate is also one solution for an inter-religious marriage where you and your bride are of two different faiths (a Baptist man marrying a Jewish woman, for example). The TV show 7th Heaven had a minister and a rabbi perform a ceremony that blended Jewish and Christian wedding rites — which might work as well depending on your preferences.
Either way, look into what your particular faith requires, if anything, in terms of location. This could make the difference between whether you're married one place or another.
The City You Live In
Where you live might only have one or two places that you use for a wedding ceremony (if you live in a really small town). If this is the case and you're dead-set on not going anywhere else to get married, then your options are of course limited.
Bigger cities have more options for wedding locations, of course, so this is a case where the place you live will determine where you can get married. Also take into account the relation of where you live to where your families live. It might behoove you and your bride to consider not getting married where you live because of the distance your respective families would travel (if you live across the country from the rest of your families, for example).
Wedding Season
Say you and your bride want an outdoor wedding on the beach. But you live in Piedmont, North Dakota. And the date you've chosen — March 3 — is in the middle of winter. This is a case for a destination wedding, allowing you and your lady to have that beach wedding in Miami while it's winter at home.
Season applies mostly to outdoor weddings, where the weather makes the decision for you about whether the wedding will be inside or outside. If you're getting married in a church or other location, such as a function hall or a hotel, then season mostly only applies if you decide to get photographs of you and your bride outdoors.
Your Personal Style
This is perhaps the most important factor when choosing a venue for the wedding ceremony. What kind of wedding do you want? Small or large? Religious or nondenominational? Lengthy scripted ceremony or the short, short version?
Whatever you decide, it comes down to the type of people you and your bride are. If you can remove all limitations about family, the city you live in, and any religious obligations, what location would you want to be married in?
Just remember — this isn't only your decision, guys. Talk it over with your bride. After all, this is her wedding too.
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