All a bride has to do at her shower is smile and nod, right?
Wrong. A bridal shower is supposed to be fun, but it's also a social function with certain roles and expectations for the bride.
Introducing the Bridal Party
First, designate a bridesmaid (or your maid/matron of honor) to record your gifts in a notebook or on a sheet of paper. As you open each present, she should write down the name of the person who gave it and some basic details about the gift—as in, "Aunt Cheryl, mixing bowls." This way, when you write thank-you notes later on, you'll know exactly who gave you what.
At the beginning of the shower, make sure to personally greet each guest. This might be obvious at a smaller or more intimate shower, but at a large shower where many of the guests may be friends of either the bride’s mother or the groom’s mother, it is important to introduce yourself to everyone.
Many people also choose to stand up at the beginning of their shower and introduce their bridal party to the guests. This is a nice idea if your shower is very large, or contains many out-of-town guests who may not know all of your attendants. If you like, introduce the maid/matron of honor, bridesmaids, and flower girls.
Opening Weddng Shower Gifts
Many showers involve the public opening of gifts, and it may seem strange to you at first to open your presents in front of everyone. But most shower guests enjoy seeing the gifts opened, and are excited to be a part of the experience.
Don't be shy: open each gift one at a time, in full view of your guests. If a card is included, open it first, read it carefully, and keep any enclosures (checks or cash) safely tucked into the card. Hand the card to the honor attendant who is recording the gifts, so that she can keep it safe for you.
Make sure you know who gave you each gift before you open it, either by reading the signature on the card or by checking for a tag on the box or bag. If no name can be found, ask your audience cheerfully, “Whose beautiful gift is this?” Once you know who gave you the gift, open it and allow your guests to see what it is, either by holding it up or by placing it in front of you. Then look directly at the giver and thank him/her.
Thank-Yous Acknowledgements for Wedding Gifts
As the shower is drawing to a close, stand up and thank the guests for coming. It is often customary to verbally invite the guests to the wedding, citing the date and place that the ceremony will occur (i.e., “Thank you all for coming, and I hope you’ll join us at the wedding on September 12th at St. Paul’s Church in Beantown!”) Etiquette generally requires that shower guests be invited to the wedding, so you’ll still need to send them wedding invitations, as well.
After the shower is over, you’ll want to get started on your thank-you notes! Each guest should receive an individual note—hand-written, if possible—thanking them for their attendance and for their gift. Try to mention the specific gift they gave you, explaining why you like it or giving details about how you plan to use it.
In her book On (Painfully Proper) Weddings, Judith Martin (a.k.a., Miss Manners) says that wedding gifts “must be acknowledged immediately.” Make your thank-you notes a major priority; get them out no later than two weeks after the shower!
Most importantly, you should enjoy your shower as much as possible. Have fun!
