Pre-Marital Financial Plans
Discuss Money Before Marriage
There are thousands of discussions that arise after an engagement. Discussing money needs to be a topic handled with sensitivity and honesty. Lying accomplishes little and does much to damage trust and erode confidence in a relationship. Partners need to be open about their current financial habits, history, income, and obligations. These are discussions that need to happen prior to marriage to help both parties determine how money, income, expenses, and budgets will be established.
Discuss Relationships with Money
There are habits that every person develops towards money. Some are casual or ignore financial issues related to money and some people border on obsession about the details of money related issues. Most fall some where on the spectrum between the two extremes. Discussing where partners fall on this spectrum will open lines of communication and help outline areas of work that need to occur.
Relationships are about Compromise
Communication skills are a requirement of marriage and couple financial planning. Those who have been used to controlling personal finances are now faced with surrendering and sharing control. These can be challenging situations for couples and require maturity, the ability to communicate, relinquish complete control of the situation, and a willingness to establish new mutually agreeable habits and patterns for budgeting. Communication is important to building these new financial marital establishments.
This is a Chance to Grow for Couples
This should be viewed as a chance to mature before marriage. Learning vital budgeting and money management skills can save couples money and lessen stress over the life of their marriage. Couples can seek financial mentors, read financial materials, and participate in financial education classes offered in many secular and even some religious institutions. Sharing this process can bring them closer and teach them valuable life skills that apply to all aspects of marital life.
Do not Expect to Change People after Marriage
This is often a huge mistake that can be prevented with pre-marital counseling, especially financial counseling. People can learn better financial skills and habits when willing. If new habits are being developed there is hope for a new path. If people are committed to old habits and patterns it is unrealistic to expect a wedding day will change those behaviors.
Financial planning while not a fun topic for couples does help build a solid basis for marriage.
Sources:
- Orman, Suze. Suze Orman's 2009 Action Plan. New York: Spiegal&Grau, 2008.
- Ramsey, Dave. Total Money Makeover. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Inc., 2003.
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