It is no secret: weddings are expensive. Paying for a wedding can run into the thousands of dollars, draining an entire savings account, or worse, leaving a new couple wrestling with debt. While many people still believe that the bride's family shoulders the financial burden of a wedding, that just isn't the case any longer. The following is a traditional guide to dividing wedding expenses equally and fairly among the bride and groom and their families.
The Responsibilities of the Bride’s Family
Traditionally, the family of the bride pays for the wedding reception dinner and all the things that go with it: the venue, the food, the drink, service fees, and decor. This also includes any other items that are seen or given at the wedding reception, such as wedding favors, flower arrangements or wedding centerpieces, and the wedding cake.
In addition to the costs associated with the wedding reception, the bride's family traditionally pays for the necessities leading up to the wedding itself. These items include:
- The wedding gown
- Bridal jewelry
- Wedding invitations
- Save-the-date announcements
- Engagement photos
- Wedding photographs and videographer fees
- Ring bearer and flower girl accessories
- Transportation fees, such as a wedding limo rental
- Flowers for the bridesmaids
The Responsibilities of the Bride
Compared to her family, the bride has only a few financial responsibilities when following the traditional guidelines for paying for wedding costs. Brides traditionally pay for the groom's wedding band, gifts for her wedding party, a bridemaids' luncheon (if she is having one), her own blood test fees if applicable, and wedding day lingerie and undergarments. In the strictest traditional sense, the bride should also pay for the accommodations of her out-of-town bridesmaids.
The Responsibilities of the Groom
In addition to paying for the engagement ring, the groom is responsible for a few major expenses that come with planning a wedding. The groom traditionally pays for the honeymoon, the marriage license, his part of the costs associated with the blood test, and gifts for his groomsmen.
Additionally, it is considered proper form for the groom to pay for the bride's bouquet, as well for the corsages worn by his mother and his soon-to-be mother-in-law. The traditional groom will also pay for the boutonnieres, ties and accessories for the groomsmen, and the bride's wedding ring, along with the honorarium for the wedding ceremony officiant.
The Responsibilities of the Groom’s Family
When planning a traditional wedding, the groom's family only has one major expense beyond paying for their wedding attire: the rehearsal dinner. Typically held the evening before the wedding, a wedding rehearsal serves to get the bride and groom, their families, and their wedding party familiar with what will happen at the ceremony. Afterward, the entire group either goes out to eat at a restaurant, or shares in a catered meal at the expense of the groom's family. The expenses include all food, drink, and service fees associated with the cost of the meal.
The Groomsmen and Bridesmaid Responsibilities
The groomsmen and the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs that come with their individual wedding attire, whether it be a bridesmaid dress and matching shoes, or a tuxedo or suit rental. The wedding party also gives a gift to the newlyweds. Groomsmen arriving from out of town are traditionally expected to pay for their accommodations, as well.
The best man and the maid or matron of honor have responsibilities beyond their attire. The maid of honor plans the details of any bachelorette parties and a wedding shower from start to finish, including inviting all of the appropriate guests and delegating tasks to other members of the bridal party. The best man handles the planning of a bachelor party, and also helps to ensure that the wedding reception runs smoothly all night. Additional responsibilities of the best man and the maid of honor include acting as a liaison between the wedding vendors and the bride and groom during the wedding reception, making sure all of the details are in place.
While traditional guidelines are helpful, and a good place to start, more couples are paying for their own weddings, or shifting some of the financial responsibilities to lessen the burden some may bear. Regardless of guidelines or what traditional wedding etiquette may dictate, it is usually best for the couple to find ways that work for their individual wedding needs.
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