The average North American wedding has several things in common. Most marriage celebrations include a cake, flowers, tossing the bouquet and carrying the bride across the threshold. Where did we get these ideas from and how did they develop over the years?
Rings
First things first: before a wedding can be carried out, the groom usually gets down on one knee and proposes with a dazzling engagement ring. If the woman accepts, the ring symbolizes their promise to each other. In primitive times, this ring was made of hemp or rushes and had to be replaced often. Nowadays, the ring is more likely to be made of precious metal and gems. Diamonds, now popular for engagement and wedding rings, were first used by Italians who believed they were forged in the flames of love. Both rings are worn on the ring finger, the third finger of the left hand. The Greeks once believed that the vein in this finger led directly to the heart.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Long ago, brides were often taken from different tribes by force. The groom would bring along his Best Man and friends to make sure the kidnapping went off without a hitch. These days, the role of groomsmen is less physically (and criminally) demanding. In Roman times, the tradition of having bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed exactly like the bride began. The purpose was to fool the evil spirits that threatened the happy couple on their wedding day.
The Bride's Bouquet
Brides originally carried bouquets of strong smelling herbs, garlic and chives to ward off evil spirits. The custom of tossing the bouquet stems from another tradition that has happily died out. The bride was thought to be very lucky on her wedding day, so guests would try to steal bits of her gown and wedding attire. In order to distract them, the bride would throw her bouquet so she could get away. Eventually, the tradition took on the significance of offering impending wedded bliss to the singled woman who caught the tossed flowers.
The Veil
The wedding veil once represented the wife being submissive to the husband and came from an earlier tradition of the bride standing under a canopy that signified the protection of her groom. These days, the veil is usually white, but in ancient Greece, yellow was a common colour and it was red in ancient Rome. The lifting of the veil by the groom was once a symbol of male dominance, but now the bride often lifts her own veil or has her father help.
The Toast
The practice of toasting stems from an ancient French custom in which bread was placed at the bottom of the glass and a good toaster would finish the drink to get at the “toast”. When the bride and groom drink their wedding toast, whoever finishes first is said to be in charge of the family.
Carrying The Bride Across The Threshold
This practice resulted from the belief that if a bride stumbled as she stepped into her home as a married woman for the first time, it would mean bad luck. By carrying his bride across the threshold, the groom ensured that their life together would have a good start and they would be free of those pesky evil spirits that ancient brides and grooms were so concerned about.
In ancient Rome, the bride wore a girdle fastened with a series of knots. On the wedding night, the groom had the honour of untying the knots. Thus, the term “tying the knot” came to mean getting married. Binding rituals have also played a large part in wedding ceremonies of the past. From pagan handfasting ceremonies to the Hindu practice of the groom tying a ribbon around his bride’s neck, the act of tying symbolized the commitment the couple now had to each other.
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