There are many reasons why couples choose to write their own vows. Starting from scratch and creating new vows can be a daunting task.
Even though a wedding vow is something special between a husband and wife, it is made in public and heard by everyone attending the ceremony. Having this pressure of others hearing the vows can make this task even more nerve-wrecking then just sharing your most intimate words (and writing capability) with the one you love.
If you are a great writer, you have nothing to worry about. Putting your thoughts down on paper and reading them aloud will only prove the eloquence of your speech. However, if you are like most, and dread writing and dread reading what you’ve written even more, than you may need a few tips on how to write the perfect vows.
Here are some tips:
- Brainstorm. Remember that activity your second grade teacher made you do where you listed out on a piece of paper everything you knew about a certain subject? Do that! List out everything you love about your spouse-to-be. This may include personality qualities, memories, inside jokes, and much more.
- Once you have your list read it over and pick out what is most important to you. What do you want to share with your future spouse? What do you want your guests to know? What promises do you want to make?
- Now it is time to organize your thoughts. One way to do this is to write the ideas you want to include on index cards. Rearrange the cards until the order pleases you.
- Write. Start free-writing on the topics you chose to include. At this point, do not worry about grammar, spelling, or any other mechanics. This is not the time to be picky about your writing. By allowing yourself to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) without restrictions you will be amazed at the quality of writing that comes out.
- Take a moment to read through what you have written. Be sure to read your writing out loud to hear how it will sound to your guests. Now it is time to be picky. Fix all the spots where the vows sound funny or the words don’t flow. This will probably take a couple of times reading it out loud to get it right.
- Find someone you trust, maybe your mother or your maid-of-honor, and read the vows out loud to them. Take their advice into account. If they think something needs to be changed it should be looked at. However, these are your vows; you decided to write personal vows for a reason. Taking a second look at the wording you have may only prove to you that you like the way it sounds. That is fine! Keep it!
- After you have the finished product, relax! There is absolutely no need to try and memorize the vows. Reading from a paper is perfectly fine!
The copyright of the article How to Write Your Own Vows in Wedding Planning is owned by Amanda Stopek. Permission to republish How to Write Your Own Vows in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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