Being approached by a long-time friend or a sibling to be the best man in their wedding is truly an honour. It is also one a feeling of initial excitement followed by a quick realization – yes, the best man does indeed deliver a speech at the reception! Sinking stomachs aside, the speech may be daunting for a great many gentlemen who do not fancy themselves to be professional public speakers.
Know Your Audience
The first rule when preparing a best man's speech is to know your crowd. Is the reception taking place in swank fashion, a black-tie event where champagne and expensive catering is to be expected – or is it taking place at a community center in potluck fashion with a live band? Knowing the social atmosphere of the reception will go very far in determining the tone of your speech.
The Best Advice You'll Ever Get
The best solid and conservative piece of advice to offer any gentleman in this situation is to err on the side of caution, and approach the best man's speech from a genuine and heartfelt perspective. Too often, advice is given to Best Men that the speech must be funny, ribald, and replete with jokes and darts at the groom. This is most likely the worst possible advice, despite the stereotype, because in a great many situations you will end up offending at least a few of the attendees. With a heartfelt and genuine speech aimed at the bride and groom, cementing your friendship with stories and clean jokes – you will certainly never bomb the speech.
If you stutter or clam up or have a slightly less than stellar delivery – the crowd will understand as long as you take the touching approach, in fact it may even play to your favour. If, on the other hand, you've mistakenly identified this occassion as a chance to do a bit of stand-up comedy, if you flub a key aspect of the delivery you're likely to put yourself even farther behind.
Obviously, some weddings are extremely informal and saucy jokes are tossed all over the table in a carefree fashion – however the majority of receptions are attended by a wide variety of people ranging in taste from very liberal to extremely conservative – erring on the side of caution, at least until the dance begins and the wine starts flowing, is paramount to your success.
Speech Structure and Final Words
The best speeches are relatively unstructured. Do not write an entire speech and recite it from a piece of paper in front of you – your voice will generally become monotonous if you are reciting from a written piece. Write a cue card, bulleted with a few points you want to talk about – at any rate your memory should be at least good enough to recount a few stories and memories without having the whole tale written out.
The final words, your closing, should be the most emotional. This is a wedding, remember, and you are allowed to tell people how you really feel about them, and be a little bit sappy – even if you are a macho man. Always remember however, if you can't say something nice – don't say anything at all!
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