Helping Plan Your Child's Wedding
Stress-free Ways to Help with Your Daughter's Wedding
Nov 27, 2007
Mothers of the bride fear not. While this joyous time in your daughter’s life may also be making her a little crazy, it is natural to want to help her out without stepping on her toes. After all it is her wedding. But there are ways you can peacefully contribute and she may not even notice.
Stick with the Small Stuff
Now, more than likely your daughter will want to decide the big things like her dress, the menu, the colors, the flowers, the bridesmaid dresses, the music and the invitations. If she doesn’t ask your help or opinion on these items, it is probably best to avoid giving your two cents. Instead, offer to help her with some of the smaller touches like table signs, place cards, how to wrap the wedding favors, song ideas for her dance with her father, that kind of thing. These smaller decisions are less likely to result in a disagreement.
Guest List
One thing your daughter may ask your help with is the guest list. Make up two lists – people you absolutely think should be invited, and then a secondary list of people to include should there be room, in order of preference. Have their names and current addresses spelled out correctly to give to her so that she doesn’t make any mistakes.
Your Gown
Another thing you could do is ask her if she wants to help you shop for your dress. If she doesn’t live in the same city, email her a few photos and get her opinion. She will like that you are including her in this decision making and will probably be a little more forthcoming to ask your opinion about other wedding planning items. Try House of Brides, which has a section specifically for Mother of the Bride gowns.
Provide Inspiration
Buy her several wedding magazines and books. She will love you for it. You can never have too many of these. This way you can sit down together and look through them and point out things you like.
Other Festivities
Get all your thrills out throwing her a bridal shower or engagement party. This you can plan anyway you want, serve the food you want, invite the people you want – you have free reign.
Gift Registry
Offer to help with the bridal registry. This is where you can give your daughter some tried and true advice. Guide her to choose items that are reasonable in price (if she selects a wine glass that costs $100, a guest could probably only afford to buy her one) and actually useful. If neither she nor her husband is a big cook, they may never use a food processor, even though it seems cool to have. Start by sitting with her and making a gift wish list at Amazon.com's wedding registry.
Thank You Notes
Ask if she would like help with the thank you notes. This seems to be an area most parents get upset over, when their friends have not been thanked quickly enough for their gifts. She can write them but you can offer to make a list of who gave what so the couple can reference it in their note. You can even offer to help address and stamp the envelopes. She probably won’t mind giving up that task.
So don't stress, instead have fun planning your child's wedding. For more wedding planning advice that the bride can use, be sure to see my articles, Making Your Wedding Dress Unique and Beach Wedding Ideas.
