Mother of the Bride's Role in Wedding Planning
Stress-free Ways In Which The Mother of the Bride Can Help
Nov 27, 2007
Mother of the bride fear not. While this joyous time in your daughter’s life may also be making her a little crazy, it is natural to want to help her out without stepping on her toes. After all it is her wedding. But there are ways you can peacefully contribute and she may not even notice.
Help with the Smaller Details
Now, more than likely the bride will want to decide the big things like her dress, the menu, the colors, the flowers, the bridesmaid dresses, the music and the invitations. If she doesn’t ask for help or opinions on these items, it is probably best to avoid giving it. Instead, offer to help with some of the smaller touches like table signs, place cards, wedding favors, song ideas for her dance with her father, that kind of thing. These smaller decisions are less likely to result in a disagreement.
Wedding Guest List
One thing a daughter may ask for help with is the guest list. Make up two lists for your side of the family – people that absolutely should be invited, and then a secondary list of people to include should there be room, in order of preference. Have their names and current addresses spelled out correctly so that she doesn’t make any mistakes.
Mother of the Bride Dress
Another thing a mother can do is ask the bride if she wants to help shop for the mother of the bride's dress. If she doesn’t live in the same city, email her a few photos and get her opinion. The bride will like that she is being included in this decision making and will probably be a little more forthcoming to involve the mother of the bride in other wedding planning items. For a dress, try House of Brides, which has a section specifically for Mother of the Bride gowns.
Provide Inspiration
Buy the bride several wedding magazines and books. She can never have too many of these. This way mother and daughter can sit down together and look through them and point out things they each like.
Bridal Shower or Engagement Party
Throw her a bridal shower or engagement party. This is one area the mother of the bride can plan anyway she wants, serve the food she wants, invite the people she wants – free reign.
Wedding Gift Registry
Offer to help with the bridal registry. Guide her to choose items that are reasonable in price (if she selects a wine glass that costs $100, a guest could probably only afford to buy her one) and actually useful. If neither she nor her husband is a big cook, they may never use a food processor, even though it seems nice to have. Start by sitting with her and making a gift wish list. Try Amazon's wedding gift registry.
Thank You Notes
Ask the bride if she would like help with the thank you notes. This seems to be an area most parents get upset over, when their friends have not been thanked quickly enough for their gifts. She can write them but the mother of the bride can offer to make a list of who gave what so the couple can reference it in their note. Even offer to help address and stamp the envelopes. She probably won’t mind giving up that task.
So there is really no need to stress. There are easy ways to help as mother of the bride plus you can actually have a lot of fun in the process.
