Almost every bridal magazine offers tips for brides on dealing with the stress of planning a wedding. But what about grooms? Bridegrooms often experience a significant amount of stress during their engagement, whether they're worrying about money or afraid their beloved is turning into a bridezilla. Here are some common stress culprits and hints for dealing with them.
Money
This is a common source of stress for any couple planning a wedding. Grooms may worry about how much money is being spent, and who is footing the bill. The solution? The bride and groom need to develop a wedding budget and stick to it. By choosing two or three aspects of the wedding to splurge on (within budget, of course), couples are sure to feel that their day is far more personal, and that their spending is under control. Being open and honest about how money is being spent gives peace of mind and builds a strong foundation for how money will be dealt with in a new marriage.
Family
Although traditionally the bride's family helps plan the wedding, grooms may find that their own families have many ideas and opinions about what (and who) they'd like to see on the wedding day. With the added pressure of impressing their brand new in-laws, it's no wonder grooms are getting stressed out about family matters. Communication between the bride and groom can help with sensitive family situations. Many couples make a rule that the bride will deal with her family on the couple's behalf, and the groom will deal with his family on the couple's behalf. This can avoid family members being offended that an "outsider" is telling them what to do.
Planning
How many guys ever really gave a lot of thought to china patterns or stationery? Once engaged, a groom is suddenly being asked his opinions about a lot of things he never really thought about. Or maybe his home is suddenly filled with magazine clippings about wedding favors, seating charts, and color swatches, but he doesn't know much about his wedding beyond the wedding date.
Any wedding, big or small, takes a lot of planning and attention to detail. It might seem easier to not get involved, but the day is about the couple, not just the bride. A groom afraid of being left out of the loop should ask what he can do to help, and a groom overwhelmed by being involved in every detail can pick a few areas of interest to take charge of and focus on.
Bridal Meltdowns
Because it's the bride who is frequently under pressure to keep track of every detail, it's the bride who often reaches her stress limits first. Many grooms feel helpless watching their bride be consumed by stress, and feel like they don't know what to do, or what's expected of them. The solution? Set aside time to talk about the wedding, and, even more importantly, set aside time to not talk about the wedding. Schedule a regular date night, and keep it sacred for non-wedding-related discussion.
It's not unusual or unexpected for couples to experience wedding stress. If grooms can be open and honest about what they're feeling, it keeps the lines of communication open, building a strong foundation for marriage. As well, sharing the tasks of wedding planning between the bride and groom can keep stress at a manageable level for both parties.
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