It’s not just celebrities who are signing lengthy prenuptial agreements these days. About 5% of newlyweds today have signed a prenup before getting hitched, and about half of American marriages now end in divorce.
But prenuptial agreements are serious things, and they’re not exactly the most romantic part of wedding planning. Here are some things to consider when mulling over a possible prenup:
Age and Assets
While there are plenty of twenty-something couples who opt to sign prenups, the contracts are often most appealing to couples in their thirties or forties. This is because older people tend to have accrued more money, possessions, and kids than younger people.
Think of it this way: when you’re twenty-two and straight out of college, you’re probably living on mac and cheese and sleeping in a small apartment with only your cat for company. If you get married at that point in your life, you probably won’t be bringing a whole lot (at least financially) to the marriage. But if you’re thirty or forty, you’ve probably found a decent job, and you might even have a house or a nice piece of property somewhere. Maybe you even have kids from a previous relationship. In that case, you’ll be bringing a lot into the marriage, and if you experience a divorce and your partner is feeling greedy or vindictive, you stand to lose a lot.
Consider what sorts of assets and responsibilities you’ll be bringing into the marriage, and act accordingly. If you don’t own a home, any property, or a high-paying job, you might consider skipping the prenup; most of your assets will be developed and acquired later in life, and you don’t have exclusive rights to them if you obtained them in tandem with your spouse. However, if you’ve got real assets in your name before the wedding, consider whether or not you’d be willing to give them up in the even of a divorce. If the answer is “no,” then you might want to see a lawyer.
Previous Marriages
If you’ve been married before, a prenup might simply help give you peace of mind. The pain of a past relationship gone sour can haunt you long after the break up is final and a new person enters your life. Sometimes, people who have been married previously harbor anxieties regarding their new husband or wife.
If you’re nervous about your new marriage because your previous one failed, don’t worry— the anxiety probably has more to do with the trauma of divorce than with the strength and stability of your current relationship.
Signing a prenup can help relieve that anxiety, because it assures survivors of messy divorces that they won’t have to pay more alimony or lose their house again if things go south again. In this sense, a prenup can actually provide more than just financial stability; it can provide emotional support for those who have experienced divorce firsthand, stability that can be crucial in the first few months of marriage.
Balance It Out: Emotional Strain
If you’re marrying your fiancé, then you probably don’t have any trouble opening up to him or her emotionally. That said, talking over a prenup can be hard on a couple, particularly if one partner is less enthusiastic about the contract than the other.
The most important thing to consider when thinking about prenups is whether or not it feels right. If you think your partner would be open to drafting an agreement, go for it. If you think it would strain your relationship or cause long-term resentment between you, though, don’t bother.
After all, a prenup is supposed to strengthen and stabilize a relationship, not make it more difficult. Just do what works for you in your situation!
